Crash Course

“	So, you've just been fired from your job as a telephone psychic. Too bad you didn't see that one coming! Fortunately, your rich Uncle Donald is willing to help you find a new line of work. He's lined up two options for you...	”
	— Crash Course Introduction

The Crash Course serves as the campaign mode for Midtown Madness 2. The crash course story follows as the player loses their job as a telephone psychic; however, Donald, the player's fictitious, wealthy uncle, gives them two options of work: the East End Cab Company School of Driving or the Golden Gate Stunt Driving School.

The Crash Course consists of a variety of challenges that help the player gain qualifications to enter work as a London Cabbie or a Hollywood Stunt Driver. The challenge structure requires the player to complete three specific tasks to unlock a Midterm Exam. Completing a Midterm will earn you a new paint job for a vehicle, while completing all three unlocks the Final Exam. On completion of that, the player will unlock a new car.

Overview[]

East End Cab Company School of Driving[]

The London Crash Course features challenges to train you as a surreal version of the classic cab driver. Obviously, you have to drive the London Cab to complete tasks ranging from learning The Knowledge, to jumping between barges on the River Thames. Prizes include "Team MS" for the VW New Beetle RSi, "Bathtub Floral" for the London Cab, "Spoon!" for the Mini Cooper Classic (custom paint jobs), and the Aston Martin DB7 Vantage itself.

Golden Gate Stunt Driving School[]

MM2 Ford Mustang Fastback — The Ford Mustang Fastback

The San Francisco Crash Course features challenges to train you as a Hollywood stunt driver. You have to use a Ford Mustang Fastback (a Chrysler 300 C when HQTM Team's Classic Madness mod is used) to complete tasks, such as escaping from police cars and destroying a Ford F-350. Prizes include "Team Angel" for the VW New Beetle RSi, "Groovy" for the Double-Decker Bus, "Classic Chrome" for the Ford Mustang Fastback (custom paint jobs), and the Light Tactical Vehicle itself. This is the second and last Crash Course section of all in the game.

Loading Screens[]

These are all the loading screens of each Crash Course race that shows the name, along with the map and racing tips.

Trivia[]

In the early beta versions of Midtown Madness 2, all events take place at daytime (noon).

Quotes[]

These quotes are heard in the Crash Course sessions that take place in London.

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson London Leap.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
This skill involves a little display of aeronautic acuity, meaning - you've gotta jump!
You'll have to speed up and hit the bridge fast enough to jump the gap and clear the traffic on the other side as well!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
A good result, you're a real fly you are, you are a regular little birdie!
Well done! Success!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Ooof, you failed!
No, you didn't make it!
You were going fast enough that time!
The ol' bridge beat you I'm afraid.
Good thing I didn't give you me best car!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Cutting Corners.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
If you wanna know how fast you're going, press "H" to show the speedometer.
Right, so you'll speed it up here, reach the necessary velocity, and maintain it through the turns until the final checkpoint, and do it all in good time.
Are your nerves rested and calm? Ok, let's give it a whirl then!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Well done that time, a truly brilliant defiance of centrifugal force.
Nice done them corners! You remind of me-self of me-self, in me youth!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Nope, you didn't make it!
You missed it, come on use your loaf!
That was a bit current cakey, wouldn't it, by which I mean shaky! Try again!
Blimey! You blew it!

Note: Strangely, its speech audio files were mislabeled for The Weaver's Tale. The same issue is also shared with said race.

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson The Weaver's Tale.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
This skill is a little slalom, it's a bit like what them skis do over there on the continent and it's good practice for weaving your bit of magic through the crowded streets of the city.
The object is to get to the last checkpoint without hitting any obstacles. Oh, and you have to do it before the clock strikes zero!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Good work, you've got relatives who are snakes, I'm betting!
Great work! I've couldn't have done it better, even in me prime!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Sorry, you didn't make it!
Nope, not a good result!
You didn't pass your O-levels did you?
Terrible work, you show all the slalom skill of a great wall thank!
Not good weaving, eh? That was ugly!

Note: Strangely, its speech audio files were mislabeled for Cutting Corners. The same issue is also shared with the same race.

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson The Knowledge.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
It's time for the London map challenge. First and foremost, a London cabbie has to know the city, "The Knowledge," we call it. We're gonna test yours here.

Passing
Quote	Audio File
You're good you are! You did it!
Brilliant work, you seem to have the knowledge, mate!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
That is not worthy of a pass!
You failed at it, try again!
Sorry, it's though! I know, you didn't make it!
It's called the Knowledge, not the lack, thereof!
It's a tricky town old London! Go again!

Locations near passed checkpoints (including cut ones)
Quote	Audio File
Big Ben! (cut)
Westminster Abbey! (cut)
Buckingham Palace!
Victoria Memorial! (cut)
Trafalgar Square!
Admiralty Arch!
National Gallery! (cut)
Covent Garden! (cut)
Piccadilly Circus! (cut)
St. Paul's Cathedral!
Royal Exchange! (cut)
A Tower of London!
Tower Bridge!
Harrods! (cut)
Royal Albert Hall!
Victoria Station! (cut)
Hyde Park Corner! (cut)
Waterloo Station! (cut)
Waterloo Bridge! (cut)
National Theatre! (cut)
Marble Arch! (cut)
Westminister Bridge! (cut)

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Round You'll Go.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Now this particular skill is among me favorites, it requires that rare combination of safe but speedy driving!
Here's what you have to do: hit all the checkpoints, go 'round the roundabout, and do it in good time without hitting anything!
Go on, you can manage it!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Brilliant work, there! Safe, and quick and you pass!
That was a lovely bit of work that time! You passed with flying colors!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
That is what me old dad used to call, bloody miserable!
Sorry, you didn't make it!
You get a first for effort, but you said down for performance!
That was bad! You drive like one of them Oxbridge types!
It's supposed to be safe driving, not crap driving. Go again!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Follow That Car!.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
This skill is one of the cab driver classics! Follow the old jam-jar, which is to say, follow that car!
You see in the flicks all the time: Follow that car! Right then, give it a go!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Well done, me old China, you're a natural you are!
You made it! You stuck with that car to the finish!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Ooh!, you lost it!
Nope! The car got away from you!
You lost 'em, yeah? I know it's tricky!
You're not doing too well, and them's the brass tacts, the facts I mean, the facts.
No, you lost 'em again!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Give Me A Brake!.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Right then, this little skill is the ever useful reverse 180!
You're going to need the old handbrake on this one, so press the "F1" key for a quick reminder of how to use it!
Remember, you've got to think backwards this time, now get on with it!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Nicely done, you'd make a good crab driver, you would! Forget cab driving! Eh, sorry about that.
Beautiful reverse 180! You might be ready for the ol' Stunt Driving school in San Francisco!
That is as fine a reverse 180, as I've seen in 50 old year!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
That was a rather poor display of cab driving if I ever saw one!
No, you failed! Try again!
Wish I could tell what you did wrong, but I can't! it was just wrong, is all!
Remember get goin' really fast, pull the handbrake after you start the turn, and that 'ought to do it!
No, try again! Put your heart into it!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson River Dancing.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
This lesson involves a little precision jump. That's right, THE precision jump. Not the long one, the precise one.
Here we go, precision jumping!
Right, uh, you look a bit pale. Been sleeping well?

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Yeah, brilliant jumping! You can land that thing on a haypenny! I'm sure of it!
Perfect! Great work! You are my pri-student!
A perfectly brilliant display of aerodynamic calculation!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
As you already know, you missed!
That miss hurt you far more than it hurt me! Try again!
Wow, when you miss, you do make a mess of it, don't you?
As you've learned the hard way: you failed!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Artful Dodging.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
To lose the fans, you'll need to go really fast, and successfully negotiate a lot of high speed corners!
May I suggest, that you turn on your rearview mirror, by hitting the backspace key!
Don't worry, it's all perfectly legal! Now, best of luck and get on with it!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Nicely done! You gave 'em all the slip that time!
Good work! You'll have matey and friends somewhere far behind you!
Good job! There's something sinister in your blood after all!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
They got you, you failed!
Sorry, you did not get away, the fans will tear your lovely rockstar limb from limb now!
Sorry, you did not pass this particular examination!
I'm sorry to inform you, that you failed miserable-like!
No, the rockstar is now screaming louder, than the fans!

These quotes apply to the first midterm exam in London.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Now, you've mastered three skills. You're ready for the examination to prove that your success at them wasn't all just luck.
Right, here's the job, then: you'll need to combine the cornering, the shalom, and the long jump. Make a clean go of it, and you'll earn a little reward.

Failing
Quote	Audio File
You can't pass three skills driving like that! Try again!
Absolute failure.
That is not what we refer to as a passing grade.
Sorry, no pass or credit on my exam; you failed!
Failure... give it another go.
That ain't quite good enough. You'll have to try again.

Unlocking Paint Job
Quote	Audio File
You've earned a special new paint job for your New Beetle RSi!

These quotes apply to the second midterm exam in London.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
It's a bit tricky... I know, but I think you can manage. Alright, let's go.

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Total abject failure. Other than that, you did alright, I suppose...
You did absolutely nothing right that time. Congratulations.
You didn't do much right that time. You're ready to join the parliament.
That will not make your teacher proud. Try again.
You don't get no goodies for that performance. Try again.
You may need a second job if you drive a cab like that...

Unlocking Paint Job
Quote	Audio File
You've earned a new paint job for your London Cab.

These quotes apply to the third midterm exam in London.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Right... you are now ready for the third exam!
You're going to have to make use of your newly acquired skills to pass this Midterm exam.

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Complete failure! This is not the road to graduation! Try again.
Sorry, you fail. Try again.
You fail, but you know, I have hopes, so try again.
That was, shall we say, a rather dismal performance.
No no no no no! G-g-go again!
Not quite that time; a rather disappointing result, but you'll improve, hopefully.

Unlocking Paint Job
Quote	Audio File
You earned a new paint job for your classic Mini!

These quotes apply to the final Crash Course exam in London.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
You're now ready for the final exam!
You'll have to use all the knowledge you've gained to pass this exam!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
That performance was not worthy of me own signature on a graduation certificate. Try again.
That is not to be considered an adequate performance.
No, you failed, but try again, you're almost there.
You failed, but I know it's tough; if it were easy, everyone would be a cabbie, wouldn't they?
Sorry. No Aston Martin for you. Run along.
You did not meet the requirements, mate. That is, you failed.

Unlocking Aston Martin DB7 Vantage
Quote	Audio File
And let me tell you, you've just unlocked the Aston Martin DB7 Vantage! Whof! Nice job.

These quotes apply to Crash Course lessons that take place in San Francisco.

These are all the quotes heard in the Crash Course lesson Frequent Flyer.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Let's practice the long jump.
The movie's got a scene where the ferry is pulling off and our hero doesn't want to miss it!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Great jump, kid! You're going to make one heck of a stunt driver!
Well, look at you; ya pulled that jump off perfectly!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Hope your clothes aren't dry-clean only! Speed and aim are your friends today!
Don't worry about it! We've got that car off an impound lot!
Fast and straight up that ramp, and you'll hit that last checkpoint, okay, kid?
Eh, say hi to the fishes for me, will ya?

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Hit Or Miss.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Show me what ya got!
What I need you to do is, weave through the checkpoints. Hit em' without hitting the trees and you'll be just fine!
Put some bark in your bumper, and you'll probably need to take it from the top!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Great cornering out there! You're gonna be a star!
What great cornering, you're diamonds kid!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Time is up, friend! Have another go and let's see how you!
We've got no time my friend! And that's a problem!
Time's up! Try easing into those turns! Too fast and you're totally out of control!
Remember nice and easy turns will do the trick! Out of control fish tailing eats up the clock!
There's a time to floor it and a time to take it easy. See if you can figure when to do what and you'll be through all the checkpoints in no time!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Turn It Up!.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
This skill involves a little high-speed cornering. A basic skill for any stunt driver. Now to pass this, you'll need to hit the checkpoints while maintaining a minimum speed.
Hey, nobody wants to watch a movie where the action hero puts on the turn signal and yields to pedestrians do they?
Ready? Let's see how you corner!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Hey, great job! You corner like a pro!
Well done! Nice handling!
Nice curves! You're looking like a professional you'll be someday!
Great turns out there kid! You'll be in the movies in no time!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
You got to keep your car moving fast! I know it's hard but it'll get you work in the movies!
Sorry kid, put you gotta maintain your speed! Press "H" to turn on your speedometer if you haven't already!
Here's a quick handbrake reminder: Sometimes, all it takes is a quick touch when you're rounding a corner!
Here's a hint kid, cause I see you're trying your best: try a light touch on the handbrake just as you enter the turn!
Keep trying kid and you'll get it!
Don't get discouraged kid! You've got potential!
Try using the handbrake as you accelerate around the turn! If you can't remember where the handbrake is, hit the "F1" key for a list of controls!
You also might want to hit "H", that key turns on your speedometer!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Brake Dancing.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Now, let's get down to business, use your 180 to clear the checkpoints before time runs out!
If you have trouble finding the handbrake, hit the "F1" key for a list of controls.
Now, to hit a 180, get goin' real fast and make a sharp turn while holding down the handbrake, when you're turned around, hit the gas, got it? Sharp turn, plus the handbrake!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Beautiful job out there with the 180! You make my head spin!
Oh, wonderful 180, kid! You remind me of myself out there!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Good try, kid. Remember to get goin' real fast, crank the wheel, and slam on the handbrake for a perfect 180!.
Don't worry, kid. You'll get this 180 in no time!
Practice makes perfect, kid. We'll have some tire screechin' action on film in no time!
Time is up!
What's the matter, kid? Handbrake need some oil?

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson The Heat Is On.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
We've got a scene in which you're the getaway driver and a bunch of cops are trying their best to stop you as you go from one side of town to the other!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Great job! All those cops trying to ram you and you still make it to the finish! Outstanding!
Congratulations, you made it! I knew those stunt driving cops would be no match for my new protégé!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Those cops are working double time, huh? Avoid 'em but remember to keep your eyes on the finish line!
Good try out there! High tail it around some corners on your way to the finish and you'll be fine!
A few tight turns around some corners, and you'll get to the finish line alone before the clock strikes zero!
San Francisco's finest too much for you, kid?
If you wanna see the cops on your tail, hit the "Backspace" key to turn on your rearview mirror!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Bonnie & Collide.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Our action hero needs to stop a car, so we're gonna let you, the stunt driver, do the stopping!
Use your car to put the other car out of commission before the clock strikes zero!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Great work, that poor car is leakin' all over the road!
Perfect, nice job takin' the car down!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Time is up, kid! And that other car is still moving!
Not good enough, crash into that other car until it can't move anymore!
Remember kid, all I need you to do is send that other car to the dump!
Kid, the other car is still running. I need you to put it to rest!
Hey, if you lose the other car, try checking the map to see where he went!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Keep It Clean.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Okay, kid, time for some dancing on the freeway!
The goal here to avoid collisions while you fly down the highway. Lookin' at the car you pulled up in, I'm not too sure this "No Collisions" rule is gonna to be an easy one!
Wrap up the engine, kid, and let's see how you do!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Great job, I knew you could do it!
Wonderful driving out there, kid! You make me proud!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
That was some ugly stunt driving!
Nope, you failed, try again!
It's the highway, not the slowway! Let's see you try that again!
Put your heart into it kid and you'll do just fine!
That was okay for a London cab driver, but not good enough for my school!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson About Face.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
To hit a reverse 180, get goin' backwards really fast, and hit a sharp turn, and the handbrake. Your head will be spinning in no time!
If you don't know where the handbrake is, just hit the "F1" key for a reminder!
Now, show me that reverse 180!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Hey, great driving there, speedy! I'm proud of ya!
Hey, nice job! You my friend, are a really talented driver!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Well, isn't that just the way it goes? Kid, er, go back out there and take it from the top!
Ohhh, spin again, kid!
Remember, to hit a reverse 180: go backwards fast, then hit a sharp turn followed quickly by the handbrake!
Nope, you're gonna have to try that one, again!
Sorry, kid. Not good enough, according to me!

These are all the quotes for the Crash Course lesson Straight, With Chaser.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Now, it's time to follow a car!
Every good action movie has a car chase, but car chases get real boring real quick if the chaser loses the chasee!. Get it?
The car ahead of ya is driven by a pro and he'll try to lose ya! So stick tight!
Okay, let's give it a go!

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Hey great driving! You stuck to that car from start to finish!
Outstanding work following that car, kid, great job!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Okay, you lost 'em, let's try this one again!
Okay kiddie, got away, let's take that again from the top!
Well, the car got away, want to try that again?
Close, but no cigar, wanna try to follow 'em again?	File:CCs 09fail04.ogg
Listen kid, you gotta stick on that guy like white on rice. Wanna go again?
Eehhh, he got away! Good thing cameras weren't rolling!

These quotes apply to the first midterm exam in San Francisco.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Remember, the cameras are rolling here. You waste time, you waste money. You waste money, you blow our production schedule and our budget.
Now, let's load some film and see how you do.

Failing
Quote	Audio File
CUT! CUT! Film does not grow on trees, people. Let's do that again.
Cut, cut. I can't work under these conditions. Somebody, get my agent on the phone.
CUT! CUT! Let's take this one from the top again, people!
CUT! CUT! Am I the only one who's done this before? Let's make a movie, people!
Cut! Cut! Are you people trying to make me cry? What do I have to do to get this scene in the can?
CUT! CUT! Let's take it from the top, people, and this time, let's get it RIGHT!
CUT! CUT! I'm going back to my trailer.
CUT! CUT! Work with me people! Work with me!

Unlocking Custom Paint Job
Quote	Audio File
Congratulations, you've just unlocked the custom paint job for the New Beetle RSi.

These quotes apply to the second midterm exam in San Francisco.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Now, you've learned three skills, and it's time to put 'em all together!
Think you can do it? Remember we're not practicing anymore, we're rolling film. And it's up to you to get this scene in the can!

Unlocking Custom Paint Job
Quote	Audio File
Congratulations, you've just unlocked a new custom paint job for the Double-Decker Bus!

These quotes apply to the third midterm exam in San Francisco.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Now that you've learned three skills, I'm gonna have you combine 'em all. A little warning though, the director is here and he doesn't take kindly to mistakes.

Passing
Quote	Audio File
Beautiful! Stunt driver, you are my hero!
Brilliant work out there, everyone!

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Cut! Cut! Film does not grow on trees, people! Let's do this again.
Cut, cut. I can't work under these conditions. Somebody, get my agent on the phone!
Cut, cut! Let's take this one from the top, people!
Cut, cut. Am I the only one who's done this before? Let's make a movie, people!
Cut! Cut! Are you people trying to make me cry? What do I have to do to get this scene in the cam?
Cut! Cut! Let's take it from the top, people, and this time, let's get it right!
Cut, cut, cut. Oh, I'm going back to my trailer.
Cut, cut, cut, cut! Work with me, people. Work with me!

These quotes apply to the final Crash Course exam in San Francisco.

Introductions
Quote	Audio File
Now, you're ready for the biggest challenge: The final exam of the Golden Gate Stunt Driving School. This is what it's all about, right?
You'll have to use all the skills you've learned to shoot the final scene!
Do everything right, and you'll unlock the Light Tactical Vehicle, better known as the LTV.

Failing
Quote	Audio File
Cut, cut! This is our big scene, people. I need everyone to concentrate!
Cut! People, let's get this right so I can go home!
Cut, cut, cut! Let's take this one again from the top, people.
Cut! This is not movie magic, people, this is a disgrace!!
Cut, we cannot fix that in editing, people. We're gonna have to do that again.
Cut, cut, cut, cut, CUT!!
Cut! Let's try to finish this millennium, people.
Cut, cut! No LTV for you, Mr. Stunt Driver!
Cut, cut, cut! Again from the top, people, before I go insane!!
Cut, we need our stunt driver to hit this perfectly, please. Let's take it from the top!
Cut! We had a little problem with the stunts and the boom light got in the shot. From the top, people!
Cut! People, let's get this right so I can go home! I've gotta be on Rosie tomorrow.
Cut, cut, cut! Mustangs do not grow on trees, people!